Conservation Station

For the most part, Disney parks around the world have fantastic, creative and exciting rides. Every once and a while, whether due to lack of time or money, they put out a real stinker. I honestly had a very hard time coming up with this list, for most rides, there is something decent about them. It is possible your list might be completely different than mine, feel free to list it in the comments below.

#10: Magic Carpets of Aladdin - In an attempt to replicate the Dumbo magic, the Magic Carpets of Aladdin is another in the long line of 2-D spinning rides, they all go around in a circle, and the individual cars can go up and down. Any older than about 3 is bored to death in seconds. On its own, the ride is ok, but with a few others exactly like it in the parks, Disney should have passed on this one.

#9: Triceratops Spin - See #10. Another Dumbo wanna be, but when paired with the horrific Dinoland USA, Triceratops Spin beats out Aladdin for the spin rides.

#8: Tom Sawyer Island - What used to be a wonderland as a kid in the early 70’s, it has become a forgotten wasteland that most guests bypass (good for them). What could be a fantastic playland for kids and adults is in horrible need of updating, and honestly an alternative to get on and off the island, every time I go over, it takes an hour to wait through the line to get back.

#7: The Barnstormer at Goofy’s Wiseacre Farm - A rollercoaster for little kids, but the lines are always long, the ride is extremely short and there is no excitement at all. You never hear kids wanting to ride it again. While Disneyland has the Matterhorn where kids as little as 2 or 3 can ride, the Magic Kingdom has the Barnstormer. Ugg.

#6: The Enchanted Tiki Room, Under New Management - Please understand, the Tiki Room at Disneyland is one of my favorite attactions, just fantastic. Disney decided to mess with the formula, and totally ruined it. Now featuring Iago and Zazu, along with many of the original birds, it just has lost the magic of the original. 

#5: Body Wars - OK, I know this ride is closed part time/permanently. It has to be included on the list though, it is/was horrific! A motion simulator similar to Star Tours, you entered the body as a miniature spaceship, and visited several parts of the body via the blood stream. Never a wait, even over Christmas, and nary a decent story line to be fine. It makes most people ill, and I have yet to meet a person who has rode this ride twice in one day.

#4: Circle of Life: An Environmental Fable - This movie is basically just Pumba and Timon from the Lion King added to remnants of Symbiosis, and Environmental film that opened in Epcot during 1982. It seems much older than 26 years, and Disney is missing a huge opportunity to teach and entertain the crowds coming to ride Soarin!

#3: Stitch’s Great Escape - A feeble attempt by Disney brass to turn the unpopular ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter in the Magic Kingdom into something more family friendly. The budget, no matter how much it was, wasn’t enough. This ride is neither entertaining, scary or funny.

#2: Journey Into Imagination - Another remake, this is a really, really bad ride. The original, while not great, was much beloved and miss. Dreamfinder and Figment are still found on t-shirts and stuffed animals throughout Epcot. While Figment has returned in this third itineration, his presence does not save this ride. No lines even during the busiest parts of the year, no interesting parts of the ride, the only reason to ride it is to get out of the heat.

#1: Conservation Station - I don’t know where to start. Who designs a ride that requires that you ride another ride to and from it in order to visit? The Wildlife Express Train that goes back and forth between the Animal Kingdom and Conservation Station is actually cool, you get to see cool backstage areas and who doesn’t love riding on a train? However, once there, they force you off the train, and to the back of the line to return back to the parks. There isn’t anything interesting at Conservation Station, but are often forced to stay there for long periods of time waiting for a return train. Please, never, ever, go to Conservation Station, you will thank me.

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